lets talk about boobs

yes this is a post on breastfeeding.... if you don't want to hear details, don't read it :)

okay, so i was really nervous about breastfeeding before promise was done. i was back and forth on it for a while, but after doing lots of reading and research i decided it was definitely the right choice for our family and couldn't really justify not giving it a shot, at the very least. its much healthier for baby and obviously much cheaper than formula. (as an aside, i am not a breastfeeding nazi. i think its wonderful and healthy for babies, but i absolutely think every mom has to make choices for their own families - i have no desire to push my choices on you.)

my goal originally was 3 months. i decided i could at least make it 3 months and would reevaluate then.  but i was still nervous. i am not overwhelmingly comfortable with my body. not uncomfortable per se, but the thought of this little baby sucking on my boobs for countless hours a day did not excited me! so, i read a book - it was pro-demand feeding/ attachment parenting, which i don't do, but it gave me the mechanics. as with everything, i was more comfortable once i had more information and understood how things work.

i knew i wanted to feed her as soon as possible when she was born and my nurse was all for it. after they plopped that beautiful, gross, slimy, naked little angle on my chest i snuggled with her for a few minutes and jonathon got to give her a once over to count phalanges and then we got to work. and it was the most natural thing in the world. it wasn't weird at all. and she was a pro! she latched on right away and never looked back. i am so thankful for that!

the first night we were home with her was her first growth spurt and she literally ate for almost 5 hours straight! seriously - i would feed her, and 20 minutes later we would start again.  it was a rough night.  after that she ate every 3 hours around the clock - 8 times a day for at least 30 minutes = at least 4 hours a day with a baby attached! yikes! the lanolin helped a little, but still... ouch. 

when promise was 4 weeks old we did a trip to tennessee. the day before we left i came down with a crazy fever and felt like i had been hit by a truck. i hurt everywhere! but especially my boobs. yep, both of them. it was mastitis. i called my ob and he phoned in an antibiotic. i should have stayed home and rested and taken my antibiotic, but we went to tennessee anyway. it was a horrible trip because i was almost delirious with fever and actually stayed in bed for a good part of the trip. promise wasn't eating great because i was so engorged and i was not getting better.  when she would latch on it was one of the most painful things i had ever experienced (and yes, i said this only a month after childbirth!). jonathon was so upset to see me in so much pain and was determined to put her on formula. but, since i had read the books, i knew that would make it worse. i had to get the milk out for it to get better.  i decided to buy a pump, but i was in no shape to go out, so my wonderful husband volunteered. he tricked a friend into going with him and drove 45 minutes to the nearest target to buy my avent duo. still one of the best purchases ever. once i was able to drain my breasts more effectively, i got better almost immediately. 

also around this time i eliminated several things from my diet trying to resolve her tummy problems - dairy, caffeine, and sugar. sugar was not the culprit. i added back sugar on occasion and she did fine. caffeine did not cause the painful poops, but it did make her reflux worse! so i have almost no caffeine now. sigh. dairy was the trick. it took about 2 weeks for the dairy to clear my milk and from that point she had markedly less pain. now she is almost 5 months old and will be starting solids in another month. she *should* have outgrow the intolerance to milk proteins. i am starting to add back dairy to see how she responds before she starts solids - that way if she has problems i will be able to identify them rather than wondering if it's the dairy in my diet or the foods in hers. so, i started today with half a cup of greek yogurt. wish us luck!

since that point it has been smooth sailing.  when we got to the 3 month mark i didn't see any reason not to continue. she eats well and i love the snuggle time - especially since she is busier now and not as interested in snuggling. and its still the healthiest option for her. i was a little concerned about my milk supply at the 3 month mark, so i started drinking mother's milk tea and taking a fenugreek supplement. it worked. she eats 6 times a day now. sometimes 6 1/2 (if she wake in the early morning i feed her on one side).  she's much faster now too - usually about 6 minutes per side plus burping and we are done in 15-20 minutes.  it gets old sometimes. i have to plan outings and errands around when promise needs to eat and where i can feed her. i pump a few ounces every day so i have plenty of milk in the freezer in case i am out with no place to nurse. 

all in all, it has been a great experience. i am thankful for how well things have worked out. i am thankful that i am able to provide her with everything she needs.  in spite of my doubts, it has turned out to be one of the many joys of motherhood.